During eight months living and working in Bali, I got to attend a local wedding and a funeral, which garnered me great insights into how people on this gorgeous island celebrate the two most important and sacred events in one’s life. Participating in two ceremonies that are of two emotional extremes had me redo some thinking about my own presence and existence.
How Balinese community works
Before we get into the specifics of the ceremonies, it’s crucial to briefly describe how the Balinese live and work as a community.
In Bali, ‘banjar’ is a familiar term. It describes a social unit based on territory unity. Social unity is strengthened by customs and religious ceremonies. A banjar is led by a ‘kelian banjar’, who is elected as the leader by the members. Since 1979, the banjar has been recognized by the Indonesian government as being the lowest administrative structure in national governance.
Based on the description, it’s easy to understand how weddings and funerals in Bali are usually attended by many people, if not the whole village, and officiated by the banjar leader.
The uniqueness that is death in Bali
In Bali, funerals are festive occasions that celebrate the release of the soul to God, with huge processions of flower-decked people and floats.
Believing that a funeral is the dead’s farewell to the living before coming back into the embrace of God, this event was not too solemn and tearful like the ones we usually see. In some aspects, it showed the Balinese’s positive take on death.
In the ceremony I attended, many people sat in a circle and prayed together for the dead’s soul to liberate. A large fire was also ignited as I was told that when the dead was buried, the corpse would get cold so the fire was meant to keep that person warm until he or she finally returned to earth.
The most special thing about that funeral was the fact that even though the dead did bad deeds while living, his victims willingly attended to bid him goodbye. It’s believed in Bali that no matter what pain he caused you when he was alive, all of your resentment and anger would be lifted away when you’re at his funeral praying for his soul to be free. It is at that moment, all the emotions that have been torturing you will leave you alone and accompany the dead to a world we cannot see. Forgiving someone who has hurt you is forgiving yourself and bringing back your inner peace, and I think that is a beautiful way to look at death and forgiveness.
A wedding to remember
I and my partner were invited to a wedding of an acquaintance’s son that we knew from long ago during our time in Bali and it was one of the most beautiful ceremonies I had ever participated in.
A Balinese wedding was unlike other weddings. The ritual began with a cleansing ritual for both bride and groom. The banjar leader would sprinkle water on them to cleanse two souls from past sins and evil spirits. It’s continued with the Medagang–Dagangan ritual where the bride acts out buying crops and the groom is the seller. Afterward, the bride and groom prayed to the supreme God and the ancestors and beseech a blessing. This also symbolized that the wedding is witnessed by God and their ancestors.
A wedding reception follows on the same day at the house of the groom. Guests come and go, with no restriction on visitation duration. Family, friends, colleagues, and other relatives can come any time of the day till night and the newlywed are ready to receive the guests happily. The guests generally come wearing traditional attire called sarong and carrying traditional trays filled with sugar, rice, and coffee, or money in envelopes these days.
Everything about the wedding was magnificent. The colors, the sounds, the vibe, the pure joy of attendees, and the blessings from the family and friends of the bride and groom, were all magical. I imagined that the happy couple would be extremely blessed and fortunate, considering how many people united to wish them a happy and long-lasting marriage. Everyone who participated wanted the best for the newlywed and that’s a delightful sight to witness.
Taking part in two great ceremonies held by local people in Bali was an eye-opening experience. The sense of community I felt there is exactly what I want out of life. To be celebrated and remembered and to leave a mark in someone else’s life, aren’t they what we all hope for?
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